Drink Establishment Cool Aid

What’s that you say? You’re not cool enough? That’s no problem in modern America. Simply drink Establishment Cool Aid. Establishment Cool Aid, brought to you by the Establishment, to not only quench your thirst for more but it’s packed with the stuff that helps you feel cool. Establishment Cool Aid is fluoridated to make you smile and laced with a tinge of aspartame so you’ll be jolly whatever your weight. When the other kids on the block see you swallowing Establishment Cool Aid they’re going to know right off how cool you are. Establishment Cool Aid even comes with a sprinkle of Fukushima sunshine right on the label so the establishment can light your path to show you the best way to your final destination.

Establishment Cool Aid. Everybody will think you’re crazy if you’re not swallowing it. Then the establishment may poke fun at you so why take chances? May I have some more Establishment Cool Aid? That’s the only question cool people ever need to ask.

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